Uncle Roger's Notebooks of Daily Life
My life is, to me, ripe with frequent challenges, occasional successes, spontaneous laughter, adequate tears, and enough *life* to last me a lifetime. To you, however, it surely seems most pedestrian. And therefore, I recycle the name I used previously and call this my Notebooks of Daily Life. Daily, because it's everyday in nature, ordinary. These conglomeration of events that are my life are of interest to me because I live it, perhaps mildly so to those who are touched by it, and could only be of perverse, morbid curiosity to anyone else. Yet, I offer them here nonetheless. Make of them what you will, and perhaps you can learn from my mistakes.
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Thursday, April 28, 2011
So I showed the video of the song Kilkelly to my wife, after explaining why I had come across it and why I'd written about it. Together we listened and read the words and, at the same moment during the last verse, came to the exact same realization of what it was all about -- at least as far as my brother was concerned.
The last verse is penned by a brother back in Ireland and ends the song with these words: "Ah why don't you think about coming to visit. We'd all love to see you again."
I completely missed it when I listened to it before; my thoughts had been of my father and his similarity to the author of the initial letters. But before playing the song for Rachel, she had asked why my brother wanted to know my thoughts on the song. That question triggered the understanding that it was all about those last two sentences -- my brother's way of asking for reconciliation.
Mind you, this is only my analysis of the whole mess, but Rachel concurs and it really does seem to fit. He likely missed the parallel between our father and the one in the song, thinking only of his own desire to get what he wanted: my forgiveness and absolution for what he knows he did wrong. My father can no longer forgive him, so he is forced to seek my pardon for his sins.
The problem -- or, more specifically, his problem -- is that I don't buy into all that forgiveness stuff. Quite simply, I see no reason to waste time on someone who has proven, time and time again, to be a self-centered, selfish, boor. Life is far too short to spend even one iota with such people and I choose not to.
Resorting to poorly executed passive-aggressive manipulation won't change that.