Uncle Roger's Notebooks of Daily Life

Break the law by following the law

Yep, it would take a republican to figure out how to charge someone with a crime for doing what the says they're supposed to do. You see, conservative tend to want to make things illegal -- being gay, smoking dope, teaching -- while liberals tend to be more of the "hey, do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights" type. Hang on, you say, conservatives might not support marriage equality or legalizing marijuana, but they're certainly in favor of education, right?

Well, sure, they're in favor of education for their own kids, but they generally aren't into the idea of contributing towards an educated society as a whole. But even if they do support public education, there are some topics that they simply can't bear to think that kids might learn about. First and foremost among them, of course, is sex. Sex is such a hot topic that you have to wonder if they're even doing it right.

And the biggest bugaboo when it comes to sex education has got to be preventing pregnancy. Heaven forbid that a single sperm be wasted! But there's more to it than that, of course. If you tell a teenager about condoms, they will, naturally, run right out to buy a box and start going at it like, well, a republican congressman in an airport bathroom. Because they don't have sex without knowing about condoms, no, no way. All those teen pregnancies among good conservative, christian girls who've only been ever taught about abstinence were all clearly virgin births.

Okay, so maybe some of them did the dirty deed and didn't use any form of protection. Perhaps, then, if they were going to have sex anyway, it would be best if they actually knew how to prevent pregnancy? Well, that's what some bright lawmakers (democrats, naturally) thought in Wisconsin, so they passed a law allowing schools to offer classes in human growth and development but only if the course provides "medically accurate information" about topics including "skills to make responsible decisions about sexuality and sexual behavior throughout the pupil's life span" and "the health benefits, side effects, and proper use of contraceptives and barrier methods approved by the federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections."

Not everyone likes that idea, though, and Scott Southworth, a republican district attorney from Juneau County, has sent warning letters to five school districts threatening to prosecute teachers who follow the new law. He wrote that teaching kids about contraceptives constitutes contributing to the deliquency of a minor and "this encouragement and advocacy could lead to criminal charges."

State Representative Tamara Grigsby, the chief author of the law, however, pooh-poohed the letter labelling it a scare tactic. While it's unlikely anyone will actually be prosecuted for following the law, one can hope that some good will come of Southworth's threats -- perhaps Juneau County will get a new district attorney.

Related Links Every Sperm Is Sacred! Wisconsin Senate Bill 324 (2009) Wis. Prosecutor: Sex Ed Rules Could Mean Charges State Representative Tamara Grigsby

[ Posted: 23:00 | home | print ]