Uncle Roger's Notebooks of Daily Life

A Trinity of Questions

I have, as of late, been seriously contemplating religion and its impact on our society. I am firmly on the side of reason and truly do not have any need for a belief in a higher power. My screw-ups are my own, but, then, so are my successes. In addition, as far as the answer to life, the universe, and everything, I'm okay not knowing. I don't have to know how life got its start or what was there before the universe (or even if there was a "before the universe").

This does not, however, mean that I am completely closed off to the idea of being proven wrong. Philip Brocoum wrote a piece asking "What would it take to convince you god exists?" and I've thought about it as well. Given that encountering an alien with advanced technology -- technology that would even appear miraculous -- is far more likely than finding absolute proof of god, I suspect it would take an awful lot to convert me into a true believer.

It is possible, though. Based on a recent discussion I had via twitter, I came up with three questions regarding god. Specifically, we were talking about the god of christianity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Goat), but really, these questions could be applied to any god, goddess, or set of gods.

The three issues that I see as needing to be addressed are:

• Does god exist?
• If so, is the bible his inerrant word?
• If so, is he worthy of praise/love?

First off, does god exist? Is there any evidence of god's existence? Personally, I have yet to see anything that would even suggest the possibility of god's existence, let alone prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. There are a lot of people who do claim that there is much proof, but when you pin them down and drag it out of them, it usually comes down to either "Science doesn't have an answer for this yet, so it must have been god" or "this is too complex or difficult for me to understand, so I'll just say god did it instead."

The thing is, neither of these really constitute proof. The first is just silly while the second is pure stupidity. There was a time when we didn't understand lightning and so people attributed it to various gods -- Zeus, Tlaloc, and, of course, Thor, among others -- but now that we've pretty much figured out that it's simply an atmospheric electrical discharge, we don't do that anymore. To do so would be ludicrous. I would like to think we've moved past the habit of attributing the unknown to a god simply because it is unknown.

As for not understanding or -- perhaps worse -- misunderstanding things and thus deciding that constitutes proof of the existence of god, well, that's intellectual laziness of the highest order and, frankly, I find that inexcusable. Claiming that DNA is proof of god or that evolution is bogus because your Yugo hasn't evolved into a Ferrari (and therefore god exists), is just asinine. Furthermore, every time such a claim is made, it makes it that much less likely that anyone will pay attention to anything a theist has to say.

So until someone offers incontrovertible proof that god exists, there is no reason to go any further. And yet, I will.

If god's existence were indeed proven, the second issue would be whether or not the bible is the infallible, unchanging, literal word of god. Is it to be taken literally or is it all allegory and analogy? Is a day a day or a "day"? Was it written by God himself or by mortal men? If the latter, did their inspiration come from on high or from a more earthly authority? That is, is it a blueprint for a blessed life or a political tool for the control of the masses?

This is another topic I've touched upon previously. Given the behaviour of so many members of the clergy or, for that matter, Phillip Garrido, it's hard to see how anyone could think it is anything but the word of its very human authors -- both the original authors and subsequent translators/interpreters.

But, you sputter, the bible is The Word! It says so right there in the bible! Well, setting aside the problem -- huge problem -- of self-authentication, the popular theory seems to be that the human authors and translators were divinely inspired, so while they did the writing, god gave them the words.

The thing is, that's kinda what priests say all the time -- including, I'm sure, when getting it on with altar boys. But clearly, people explain, that's an aberration and not really the will of god. Fair enough. That, however, opens another question. If sometimes priests are doing the work of the lord and sometimes they aren't, how do you tell? How do you know if something someone says -- or writes -- is divinely inspired or born of more human desires?

Clearly, you can't. Either one must accept everything said in the name of go or none of it. You can't have it both ways. And as far as the bible goes, either you accept every last word (including prohibitions on yummy bacon and women wearing pants and slavery) or you accept none of it. You can't have it both ways. And if you accept the bible as the word of god because it says so, then when the priest asks your son to bend over, you had better make sure he obeys.

If you've managed to ignore reality enough to believe in god and you're okay with the whole priests and boys thing, then only one issue remains to be addressed: Is god someone you would want to praise, love, and follow? To find out, let's start with god's own words -- the bible.

Take, for example, the tale of Elisha as told in 2 Kings 2:23-25. Apparently, this guy was walking down the road when some hoodlums showed up and made fun of him for being bald. So, naturally, he cursed them. God apparently heard and decided to help his buddy by sending two bears to maul forty-two of the kids. How sweet.

Okay, so we shouldn't call people names or make fun of their physical attributes. Fair enough, although having bears rip kids limb from limb seems a little extreme; I probably would have just had them sit on the stairs for a while. And what else shouldn't we be doing? Well, remember the ten commandments? One of them is "Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy." Most christians know that command, but I'll bet most don't know what the punishment is if you don't.

That's noted in Exodus 31:15 -- "whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death." Let's all run down to Wal-mart and start shooting, eh?

Now, that's pretty harsh. Death seems like too severe a punishment simply for going to work on a Sunday. If that's not bad enough, however, consider Deuteronomy 21:18-21 which says if your kid misbehaves, he's to be put to death. Death by stoning, in fact, a rather unpleasant way to go, I imagine.

And then there's Noah. It seems, back in Noah's day, people were running around having a little too much fun and not paying enough attention to god. So what does the god of the bible do when his creations piss him off? He turns the ol' Etch-a-Sketch upside-down and gives it a good shake. Never mind about all those people, or their kids, or their hopes and dreams (and forget about their free will.) Boom, you're all dead. "Behold, I will destroy them with the earth." (Genesis 6:11-14)

Mind you, that wasn't the only time either. "Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground." (Genesis 19:24-25) Once again, the people were out having fun and god was feeling ignored, so god wiped 'em all out.

So, to sum up, if god exists and the bible is accurate, then god surely is either a petulant, bratty child who throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way or he's an evil, murderous thug who uses deception, threats, and violence to get what he wants. As such, he deserves neither praise nor love. I would not bow down before him but I would gladly do my best to kick his ass. I suggest you do the same.